Surgery Update #2

Some of you asked about my surgery. It has been postponed. 

The PET scan I had a few weeks ago found a one centimeter nodule in my right lung. If it turns out to be cancerous, I believe I will be treated with chemo for both cancers. 

The biopsy of the lung nodule was postponed from October 19 to October 24. With a weekend in-between, not that many working days, but once again, I get to practise my patience. 

This also means I get two weeks off from scans. Jeanne pointed out, that this could be a gift. 

I can eat, drink and be merry; check out my pancake lunch above. A little heavy on the whipped topping, I know. But I had no syrup, so that's my excuse. 

And I can take care of this:

Continue emptying my drawers at home of all things that don't bring me joy, to quote Marie Kondo. I'm so with her and love doing this. 

Get my flu shot. I earlier decided to only get the Covid booster, not the combination, so now I can get the flu shot taken care of. 

Get my hair cut. I don't know what will happen in the future, but facing it with a bit shorter hair will not hurt. 

So that's the plan, my friends. 

And Then There Was

one more nodule, this one in my lung, and one lymph node issue.  

The latter, I'm hoping, is probably from my Covid vaccine.

The nurse I spoke to on the phone was so kind, she said, "we hoped that the scan would be fine, I'm sorry."

So there will be no surgery at this time.

I'm thinking of my blogger friend who is living with stage 4 melanoma at the age of 39 (see below for the name of her book, which I highly recommend).

She has endured so many scans, so much bad news, she keeps living one day at a time. And recently her dream of having her book sold in a real bookstore came true. 

Congrats Elisa, I'm so happy for you. 

I've read about Elisa's scans, but never thought about what's involved in having a scan. Some are easy, provided you're not claustrophobic, others can be very painful. I had one that I will not describe, which bruised my ribs and bruised ribs can really hurt.

I think the job for me is to find joy in unexpected places and situations, like Adventist Health and Quest Labs, where it looks like I will spend some more time.  

After I cried recently, this conversation came to me.

Old Age: I thought you wanted to be old, live a long life.

Me: Yes, but...

Old Age: You got the gift of old age and it isn't always easy. So you need to deal with it!

Thoughts like that make me giggle. And giggle is good when faced with negative scan outcomes. 

I had some bad news. I am not alone getting bad news and I'm not alone dealing with it. 

So all is good. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the name of the book is: 

Two More Years, by E. C. Stilson

Two more years are what the doctors said Elisa had to live. So she wrote a book about her experience. She writes about her life, her kids, her husband and everyday life. It's not a sad book, I highly recommend it. 

The book is available on Amazon. And now in bookstores, yeah!!

Elisa's blog:

http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/

Thanks for listening.

Cancer Cannot Silence Courage ~ An Update

Today is my birthday ~ I am 74 now. Last year on my birthday, my husband and I drove up to Tehachapi Mountain and had a picnic. It was green, cool, and beautiful up there and we had a lovely day. 

When I was 59, about this time of year, I had breast cancer. It was caught early, it wasn't aggressive, it wasn't easy, but I survived. Today's header is a quote from a list of things called What Cancer Cannot Do. I got it in the cancer support group I attended at the time. You may see some quotes from it in future posts. The author is unknown.

Neither my husband nor I want my blog to be about his cancer. So in the future, I will continue with my regular stuff, Samson, pictures, old trucks, rust, fences, and all that. Yes, Tex, I am hoping to get to your fences. I also have a little secret that I don't want to share just yet, but that I know you will enjoy once I do. My secret has four legs, need I say more?

It was lovely up there on the mountain last year. Here's hubby at the picnic table. That's when he took the picture of me, below, that I have used this entire year on my blog. But I digress, because I want to let you know that I'm writing this to calm myself down. 

So far, I have been able to hold it together, but I lost it today - I'm writing this on Friday. I thank Dee for her mantra. I figured out a few for myself early on: This is about my husband. I will not think about myself now. And: One day at a time. And: Smile. OK, but then when things don't go well, when memories of Happy Birthdays appear uninvited, and so on, what do you do? I guess you can always sit down and write about it. 

The update on my husband is as follows (as we used to say in our bureaucratic writings at UCLA): 

To clarify: He is not getting intravenous chemotherapy. He is getting a targeted chemo treatment, called chemoembolization. Embolization is a procedure that injects substances to try to block or reduce the blood flow to the tumor. The only cure for this type of cancer is a liver transplant, so, if successful, this procedure can buy time. It can also be repeated later. This I read, but reading about this type of cancer is too depressing, so I am back to my one day at a time mantra.

He had this done on Tuesday. I was at the hospital until 3:30 in the afternoon. He was not doing well, but I thought he would get better in a day or two.

As I write this on Friday afternoon (after a huge crying spell) after talking to him on the phone, he is still in the hospital, 125 miles away. He sounds so bad, it is breaking my heart. They would call me to let me know if he can come home today, but not likely they said. No one called.

He is in a lot of pain. He had bleeding, but that stopped. Now the reason he is not being discharged is the pain and also the nausea. He can't keep food down. I hope they will keep him until these issues clear up or at least become manageable. He said the doctor told him, in simple terms, that the extreme pain comes from the tumor fighting the drugs. Or something to that effect.

So how am I? I'm glad I finally cried. I wanted to as soon as I came home on Tuesday night, but after all that driving, I was just too tired. 

But when I heard my husband's voice for the fourth day sounding so awful, sounding like I have never heard him sound before, I just cried and cried. I think it was a good thing and I am ready to move on and deal with all this again. 

Finally, and this should have been at the top:

Thank you so much for your comments, your good thoughts, your prayers, and your friendship. I have not been able to focus on reading your posts, but now as I'm writing this, I know I will come and visit you soon and that it will do me a lot of good. Thank you so much, I am so glad to have found so many good people on the blogs. 

Samson Says: Thank you everyone for being so good to my mommy. And, don't forget, I will soon have a birthday of my very own (hint, hint)!