An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
~ Henry David Thoreau
I can't believe all this snow we are getting. Hopefully it will help with the drought, at least some.
My cancer journey began last summer with a questionable mammogram. I've done well since then through all the tests, scans and surgery
Then came the pills!
Anastrozole, is their name.
And I crashed one night last week. I don't want to write about the details, trust me, it was bad.
And for someone like me, who always trusted in my strength and resilience, it was shocking.
In the days that followed, I looked into this medicine and its side effects.
I knew the medicine reduces my estrogen levels in an effort to prevent a return of my estrogen-fueled cancer.
As it turned out, there were two things I didn't know.
I didn't know how severe a reaction I would have as I began to feel the results after a month on the medicine.
My mind, my emotions, and my feelings took a sudden turn down into a very deep and scary hole.
I'm fine now, I've read the document the pharmacy supplies with medicine, the one written in the smallest print ever.
Researching this, I also learned that the lower your estrogen, the higher your blood sugars. Which explains why I've had such a difficult time controlling my diabetes lately.
And when your blood sugars are high, your brain gets cloudy, you can't think as well, and everything just becomes so difficult.
The combination of high blood sugars, lower estrogen and difficulty sleeping caused my breakdown. Scary stuff!
I feel better emotionally, but my blood sugars are still scary high, requiring scary high amounts of insulin to control.
I've never in the 33 years I've had diabetes experienced anything like this.
It's clear to me now that if these estrogen-reducing pills don't work out, I will take my chances with the cancer returning and skip the pills.
Or risk all the horrors of Type 1 diabetes gone wrong. Which is just as horrific and deadly as cancer gone bad.
And right now I have diabetes.
I do not have cancer.
And being able to manage my diabetes is now my main concern.
Finally, I'm wondering if I'm making a fuss about nothing, just some pills that should help me in the long run.
After all, I don't need chemo, this could be so much worse.
I will let the oncologist and my diabetes team know what I'm going through.
I was bored one afternoon recently, so I decided to go online and see if I could find pictures of various places where I spent time earlier in my life. I found a lot, which will of course be more fascinating to me than to you, but I still want to share.
Here are a few that I found:
Photo: Vince/Jane B. not sure who took this fabulous shot.
A great photo of an old rusty pickup truck to celebrate the 40th Rust post today.
Many thanks to Vince and Jane for helping me keep the Rust posts going.
On Kindness
I've had a difficult time feeling like myself, like the person I always was. This has affected my ability to think, to feel inspired, to be creative, to keep up my blog, keep up my email correspondence with my closest friends, and everything else I've always enjoyed.
Jeanne suggested this may have something to do with the anesthesia I had for my surgery back in November.
I finally looked it up, just in general online, and found this, which is not from my usual medically reliable places, like John Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic. I just googled the question. But it makes sense.
On a Sunday morning, I'm sharing reflections of the setting sun.
Have a great week.
Faith says: Catch many balls, walk a lot, and enjoy your lives.