Faith: What are you hemming and hawing about?
Me: Hemming and hawing, you're a dog, how do you know weird words like that? You're for sure the smartest dog I've ever known.
Faith: I know.
Me: So I was reading the Washington Post on my Kindle and the name of our town came up.
Faith: That's exciting, I hope they spelled it right. Why?
Me: Because some California condors had trashed this woman's entire deck.
Faith: Why? Were they mad at her?
Me: I don't know. But do you know what the biggest problem was?
Faith: I bet they pooped all over the deck and didn't clean up after themselves.
Me: Faith, you're absolutely right. It was like shoveling up concrete, the poor woman said.
Faith: How many birds did this to her?
Me: The paper said 15 to 20 birds and you know they're giant birds.
Faith: I know, she should shoot them if they come back.
Me: You are not allowed to shoot them, they are what's called endangered. I read there are only about 160 of them flying free in California and some more in other countries. So very few of them are left.
Faith: It's sort of sad when animals disappear. I'm glad I'm a dog, I don't think we'll disappear any time soon.
Me: It's pretty cool though that we live in condor territory, don't you think?
Faith: Personally, I think we live in raven territory. But they've left us too.
Me: I know, Uncle Bob stole them.
Faith: How can you steal a raven?
Me: He is very kind to them and then he feeds them horse treats. You weren't nice to them, you used to chase them all over the place. So no wonder they left us.
Faith: I know, it was so much fun chasing them. Stole the ravens. I say, what's the world coming to? Pooping big birds and faithless ravens, I don't know...