You are not going to BELIEVE what happened the other day! Mommy took MY Gracie Two and put her in soap and water! Laundry soap, no less, like she was a dirty towel or something. Now she will never smell like my Gracie Two again.
Mommy: Samson, Gracie Two was very dirty, you've been slobbering on her for months on end.
Samson: Slobbering?!!! Like I'm a bulldog or something. FYI, us Samoyedskaya sobaka, do not slobber. Where we come from slobber would freeze before it hits the ground.
Mommy: What were those words again?
Samson: Samoyedskaya sobaka! That's Russian and it means I'm the dog of the Samoyed ~ the name of my Russian tribe and my breed. From Siberia....where it's COLD!! Get it: COLD!! Not like here: HOT! Maybe I'll move myself back over there.
Mommy: ..to herself...Some things he says are best ignored.
Mommy: Anyway, here's Gracie Two now. I'm sorry I had to remove her other eye before it came off.
Samson: You are a bad mommy, now she has no eyes at all.
Mommy: It's for your safety, Samson, so you won't swallow it and hurt your tummy.
Samson: ...to himself...she's just worried about the vet bill, is all.
Mommy: Now, doesn't she look pretty and clean? She will soon smell like her old self again, you'll see.
Samson: Yes, mommy, she's very pretty now, I'll give you that. And softer too.
Mommy: So all is good in our world and you don't want to move to Siberia?
Samson: I love you mommy, I want to stay here with you..... to himself.......but sometimes she gets on my nerves soooo.