Thursday, August 13, 2020

A Train In The Rain And More

It's Thursday afternoon here in California and I've been feeling a bit down. More about that later. This morning, thunder rolled around the mountains. I had to go to Walmart to pick up some groceries and Samson's eye drops. By the time I left, it was raining. First rain since the spring. Much needed, much grateful for it and for my windshield wipers working as they should. 

Samson is scared of thunder. Not panicking, but not comfortable and I didn't like to leave him, but somehow I knew he would be OK. He's not an easily frightened dog, it's more that he doesn't like noise. Faith is not bothered at all. Labs must have both guns and balls, replacing the birds they're supposed to retrieve, etched in their DNA.

You know I'm always happy when I get a train. Just so I can take a few pictures. And I love them, I really do. The trains I mean. It's fun to take a picture through your side mirror and see the rear of the train pulling up. 

Before I left Walmart, I took this picture of the dark clouds. I haven't seen a good cloud cover for months now, so I just had to.

So after I got home, I was feeling a bit down. Mainly because I get so darned tired after I come home from town. I mean, these days I don't go shopping, I just sit there and wait for the people to come and load my groceries for me. Then I go to the post office and walk maybe 30 steps, get my mail, walk back another 30, get in my car and drive home. Once home I unload the groceries, not much this time, wipe them down, and put them away. Big deal. So, so tired, I'm getting on my own nerves.

I sleep in this room now because it faces north. I got this antique bed from my friend Lin when she moved to an assisted living place. One of the four posts has scratch marks from her cats, Siam and MeTo, gone for so many years now. As is Lin. 

So I sat in this bed in my other bedroom, feeling blah. Wondering why I'm not in my living room. The bed was not made, I hadn't slept in it, but for some reason it was not made up. There was a mess all around. Stuff in it, laptop, calendar, notebook, notepads, pens, and you get the picture. I hate piles of stuff. I hate even more when I feel too tired to deal with piles. 

What would make me happy, right now, I asked myself. To strip the bed, put on a bottom sheet only since I'm not sleeping in it, and then take out the quilt that I washed a while back and make up the bed. 

This I did and felt immediately so much better. I can now sit  in it, it looks nice and my much loved Purple Cottage picture is on the wall opposite, so I see it all the time.

I still wonder why I'm not in my living room. But I'll worry about that some other day.

Sorry to bother you with all this, but sometimes you just have to share. I have been here alone now since March after all.


  1. Very wise to talk about it. Other older women living alone can relate. I think stress causes tiredness, as well as the depression we're bound to experience with the sameness of the days. That's why I made a special push and scheduled YouTube workouts three times a week. Not long, 20 minutes tops, with weights. It really oxygenates your body and makes energy. Today I felt so feeble I picked a ten minute workout, and even that improved my mood. I have neighbors but go days without seeing them beyond their cars driving away! They'd help if I needed though. But company they aren't.

  2. I'm so sorry. It might be a good idea to tlk to your doctor about why you are so tired. Maybe you are a bit anemic or something. When I felt like this, turned out I had a low thyroid. Now one pill a day is like a miracle. I like your bedroom, and love the cottage picture.

  3. I like your Purple Cottage picture. I am a widow and senior citizen, and live alone, and I can relate. It is just not right for me to spend so much time alone, and can feel oppressive and thus tire me out; perhaps you feel the same? I invited a friend to come over yesterday and we sat six feet apart outside, it was wonderful to hang out with someone. Maybe that would work for you.

  4. Hi Inger - it's difficult being on your own dealing with all things ... particularly after your wonderful life and marriage to Errol. I love the little Purple Cottage ... and am so glad you've got Samson and Faith with you. Well done for tidying your room up - especially in your heat. Thankfully the heat seems to have eased off here ... but I too need to do some tidying ... (a lot!!). Take care and all the best - Hilary

  5. I think many of us are feeling like your are, Inger. I am not working on my gardens, which I love; I am not keeping up with housework, and the thoughts of making plans for anything seems useless. I have seen the term, Covid Fatigue (because they have to label everything), but I believe we are all feeling the malaise. I have given myself a challenge this week to walk more steps than I did the day before. My goal is lofty and beyond what might be possible but it is a goal and something to work towards. I need that for my body and more so, my mind.

  6. Love the quote you put on the bed love the picture on the wall love the fact that you did get that room cleaned up and I to hate piles of stuff and I don't know why we do it! The bedroom that we never use except the computer is in there Bob never goes in there so it's all my mess. I walk in there and decreed that sitting there and has not had a dog in it for about five years needs to go but it's almost a hundred pounds and I can't move it by myself and Bob keep saying we're going to move it together but we never do and it's a catch-all. Just like your room I go in there and lay things on top of the crate until it gets so bad I have to clean it up. I also put paperwork that needs attention on the kitchen table not bills and things like that just things that need to be filed where they go. I hate looking at it and I hate putting it up. Glad you got out and what's get your things and so so happy that you got some rain! The thing is I'm afraid that all these things that people are doing now like driving up and getting it brought to the car what you described that you did is deadly for all of us that's why I'm not doing it because daily life is part of our exercise. But we do have to be careful and I know that you have health issues and you have to be careful but don't let it become a habit if it gets to where you can go in because the more you walk and get in and out of the car the more you feel better. I think the suggestion of a comment here about doing YouTube exercise or just stand in place and March anything to do exercise if you can do it. The more I move the better I feel

  7. Think you made a good move to tackle the unmade bed even if you don't use it. I do believe Covid fatigue is plaguing a lot of us--I know I feel it. Still it is important to do the things we see no use for. I noticed I was just not doing much of anything and decided to go back to my simple three times a day short walks. All ready feeling better. It is too easy to slip into neutral and even a simple goal helps.

  8. I remember the post about the little purple cottage. I love that picture.
    and when I feel like you do... and I sometimes do... I think we all do actually...
    I don't fight it anymore. I'm gentle with myself at those times. and it passes.
    and this post has 3 of my favorite things in life! RAIN! and TRAINS! and THUNDER SKIES.
    whether it thunders or not... the thought that it might. it just all brings me delight.
    bless you Inger. and your little cottage in the desert canyon there. it's all good. xoxo

  9. To begin with - i love that photo of the view in your rear view mirror. I love doing that also when we are driving through an area I like. I also love trains! That room you made up ..the bed and such - it looks very inviting. I totally understand and commiserate with your mood and sometimes it's just best to get up and do something about it. For me - it's almost like I descend into a valley and plateau there a bit and it just takes sometime to realize to just look within and ask what's going on and soon enough an impetus comes to change the feeling. Probably our own tiredness can be a shadowy feeling of what the whole world is feeling - a tiredness of all that is going on - a wanting to retreat from the world - and here you made your own retreat so to speak. Just looking at the "expanse" of where you live - your mind can also live in that expanse . I like your post - it helps to clarify for me also the times I feel tired and uninspired and why... Hope your day is expansive and vibrant! Even with the heat.

  10. Really best that you talk about it and let it out. I always find doing simple, household chores gets me moving and makes me feel a bit better. A small sense of accomplishment can help a lot. I truly don't know you in the typical sense, but I think of you often. So many of us are out here....just reach out.

  11. With everything going on right now it's no wonder we are feeling down! I too am having trouble doing more than the basic stuff. It does help to do something to bring joy like putting that pretty quilt on your bed. I love the headboard by the way! Hang in there, this too shall pass!


Thanks for leaving a comment.. ~~ Inger


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