Diabetes and Me

I woke up this morning feeling fine, but then I checked my blood glucose and the result was 278! Normal fasting bg should be around 80. Once I saw the result, I didn't feel so well any more. But I got up, fixed breakfast, let the insulin pump figure out the correct amount of insulin, based on the carbs I planned to eat and a correction for the high sugars. It was around five in the morning and still dark outside. Daylight brought a wonderful surprise....fog!

I went outside and took a picture of the first tree to lose its leaves this fall.

Since it was so lovely outside, I decided to forget about not feeling well and take my dogs for their walks.

I love the fall color of this plant.

As we walked back home, I couldn't ignore the fact that I felt really bad and when I reached the house, I checked my sugars. Now, less than two hours later, they were 72! What a drop! I felt nauseous and decided this may not be the morning to go to town as planned. Just stay home and rest for a while. But first I had to eat something. One of the lesser joys of having diabetes: You must sometimes eat when that's the last thing in the world you want to do. But I did and then I made a cup of chamomile tea to help me calm down and stop feeling frustrated about not being able to move on with my day.

Here is a rabbitbrush we saw on our walk.

Then I came in here and opened the computer. And got a message that told me there was something seriously wrong. Then Windows gave me a Corrupted Error Report. Not a very good morning so far. But I'm mushing on and the computer is so far cooperating.

By now I think it may be time for me to post my diabetes list. I follow a diabetes blog by a young woman named Kerri who has a good sense of humor and is a cat lover. She also has Type 1. Kerri recently listed 30 things about her diabetes and her feelings about it. She encouraged her followers to do the same.

I did my own list, but never posted it. While Kerri has a diabetes blog and many interested followers, I don't. But this morning, I changed my mind and will post my list here, actually my two lists.

Some Benefits of Diabetes

1. I stopped smoking 16 years ago.
2. My diet has greatly improved and so has my general health.
3. I walk and/or hike with my dogs almost every day. I doubt I would push myself as hard to exercise if I didn't have diabetes.
4. I'm no longer a hypochondriac. I used to worry about every little ache and pain, cancer, this and that. Diabetes keeps me so busy I have no time to worry about any other illnesses that my be lurking out there.
5. I like my doctors and my support group meetings. Technological advances interest me. I don't mind most of the little day-to-day things, like checking my sugars and counting carbs, involved in managing this illness.

Having My Say

1. What I don't like about diabetes:  Type 1 diabetes is relentless and does not give you a break. Not ever. You can never let up your vigilance and being spontaneous is practically impossible.
2. What I wish people would understand:  Type 1 diabetes is very different from Type 2. When people talk about diabetes, they usually refer to Type 2. That's what about 90% of diabetics have, so it's understandable, but it is not what I have.
3. What's weird:  As your sugars get more normal, there is always the risk of them going too low. Passing out from low blood sugars could have dire consequences, especially for someone who lives alone.
4. What I'm afraid of:  Having low blood sugars in the night, while alone.
5. Something else I don't like about diabetes:  Low blood sugars are an invisible and dangerous consequence of this illness. So are high blood sugars. While all that goes on inside of you, there you are, looking just fine. So normal expectations are being placed on you. While you can't be normal just then.
6. What bothers me:  When well-meaning people tell me that I won't get complications because I take such good care of myself. This seems to imply that those who get complications or die from this illness didn't take care of themselves. I really want people to know that only in recent years, thanks to better tools and better insulin, has it become easier to gain control. But it is still difficult. And the internal, invisible, damage is cumulative.
7. What diabetes has taught me:  I can make it through the night.
8. What is most difficult:  To not take my low blood sugar drama/trauma out on my dogs or my husband.
9. What else have I learned:  I can't expect anyone to understand what this is like. 
10. What I can't live without:  My glucose meter and test strips.
11. What I would do if I didn't have diabetes for one day:  Walk barefoot in dewy green grass (if I could find some).

If you made it through all the way to here, thank you so much for listening. I feel better now and may just go on that trip to town.

Our field. I love having a field of my very own. A city girl's dream, I guess.