L is for Life

Me, alone. Life after loss.

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~ Grandma Moses

My life has pretty much been what I made it, what I created and recreated. I did this so many times, I often wondered if I was running away from my own reality. I went as far West as I possibly could, until I was faced with the great Pacific Ocean.  Then I stopped and turned inward, to my spiritual self. 

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. 

~ John Lennon, 1980

~ Allen Saunders, 1957

And now I'm recreating my life again. Except this time, I didn't want to. I wanted Errol to come home to me so I could somehow fix him, make him well again. Oh, how I cleaned and cleaned here after his liver transplant, how I practiced cooking meals (he always cooked, so I was out of practise) so he could get healthy food to eat, how I cleaned out the pantry so everything would be fresh. After an organ transplant all that is so important. And then it didn't work. He named the puppy he brought home after his cancer diagnosis, Faith. That didn't work either. And it's been hard, so very hard, but it's getting better.

I look at this picture of me. I was one then, my eyes were shining, life was spread out ahead of me. How strange, I think now. I was once that little, how strange all that has happened since, how far I traveled, how much I learned, how many people I met along the way. How strange that now I'm 75, almost 76.

Life is a precious gift, each day a gift, and we must make whatever we can of that gift......