Me, alone. Life after loss.
Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~ Grandma Moses
My life has pretty much been what I made it, what I created and recreated. I did this so many times, I often wondered if I was running away from my own reality. I went as far West as I possibly could, until I was faced with the great Pacific Ocean. Then I stopped and turned inward, to my spiritual self.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
~ John Lennon, 1980
~ Allen Saunders, 1957
And now I'm recreating my life again. Except this time, I didn't want to. I wanted Errol to come home to me so I could somehow fix him, make him well again. Oh, how I cleaned and cleaned here after his liver transplant, how I practiced cooking meals (he always cooked, so I was out of practise) so he could get healthy food to eat, how I cleaned out the pantry so everything would be fresh. After an organ transplant all that is so important. And then it didn't work. He named the puppy he brought home after his cancer diagnosis, Faith. That didn't work either. And it's been hard, so very hard, but it's getting better.
I look at this picture of me. I was one then, my eyes were shining, life was spread out ahead of me. How strange, I think now. I was once that little, how strange all that has happened since, how far I traveled, how much I learned, how many people I met along the way. How strange that now I'm 75, almost 76.
Life is a precious gift, each day a gift, and we must make whatever we can of that gift......
Life is a precious gift, each day a gift, and we must make whatever we can of that gift......
Lovely words, and they can apply to us all at different times. Faith with you, Errol gone, and life has had so many changes. We need to go with them, like the current in a river. You do so well at all of this, I am looking for the next M to Z. Hugs from a colder NZ, we are truly in autumn, a good frost on the front lawn this morning.
ReplyDeleteSo very well written, Inger. Our life journey is full of hurdles, such as suffering, illness, fear and disasters but we always have hope that tomorrow will be better and pretty soon we run out of tomorrow. I think you are doing so well to live your days the best you can each day as life is really a gift.
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs,
JB
I agree....this is so well written and good for all of us to remember. We can't control what happens but we do have choices in our own lives. We can't just let our time slip away. Love that sweet happy photo of you! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Well said, my friend
ReplyDeletea beautiful smile and eyes that you still have to this day... i have recreated my life many times to.. i have relatives that have lived in Savannah, the place of my birth, since the day they were born, they have never left Savannah, never even on a trip... i moved and moved and moved, but the last 32 years of my 71 years have been right here...
ReplyDeleteIsn't it wonderful to recreate oneself through the years and still resemble the original you?
ReplyDeleteAdorable you!
It's an old adage, but true, that 'Life is what you make it.' And what you have made of your life, dear Inger, is very beautiful and meaningful, indeed...
ReplyDeleteLife does indeed happen. And I think you've handled your trials amazingly well, Inger. So you're almost 76; so am I. It has been a long journey for both of us, and it's true, the quotes you post here, that life is what we make it...though of course life doesn't always go the way we wish it would, which we have to accept after we do all we can to make things better for a loved one. It's that final acceptance, and then turning inward to our spiritual self ... (love this adorable picture of the wide-eyed sweet little innocent you!)
ReplyDeleteI often look back at pictures too and wonder where all the time went. All the tumbling blocks you go through to get where you are.
ReplyDeleteThat is a cute picture you have shared with us.
http://enchantedfantasies.blogspot.com/
I love the quote by Grandma Moses. Yes, life is what we make it. And it is also what God has planned for us! And I am still looking for how I want to live it! You are my inspiration Inger!! Love that sweet little face when you were one!!
ReplyDeleteOne of your gifts was Errol & his spirit still lives within you--& loves you!!
ReplyDeleteOh that picture is adorable. : ) What a cutie.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Inger. So true for us all. The photo of little you is very beautiful! She looks as though she will have an extra-ordinary life. And you have, and do!
ReplyDeleteYou and Grandma are so right. How we live is in our hands even when we don't want it to be. Being thrust into a plan B is so hard but much worse if we can't come up with a plan B. From that adorable one year old, the you today has had to resort to many plan B's. I know I probably have a few ahead of me yet also.
ReplyDeletesweet post
ReplyDeleteI'm so enjoying your A-Z posts. This one especially. Yes, life is a gift and we must make the most of everyday. I'm so glad you are doing that. Thanks for sharing your joy and pain. It helps others who go through life's challenges. Take care! ~Jeff
ReplyDeleteWhen we begin life, the roads spread out in a thousand different directions. As we reach the apex of the hill, we turn back and find only one path. Life. So precious and unpredictable at times. May each new morning bring you some new happy surprise. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Inger - wonderful words and yes there's hope in the beginning which for some gets taken away .. but it's wonderful to read Errol named 'Faith' ... she's been a good companion to you all, then the three of you ... and Samson who has come round. I love that photo of you at one ... the chubby little girl .. soon to grow into the blond Swede who'd travel the world and land in your spiritual Canyon ... and have experienced so many lives along the way - and a special one with Errol ... with many thoughts - Hilary
ReplyDeletea poignant post.
ReplyDeleteI am enjoying your posts so much...
ReplyDeleteLove your photo, Inger, so lovely with your sweet smile and eyes shining!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post and very true your words: "Life is a precious gift, each day a gift, and we must make whatever we can of that gift..."
Much Love to you!
I hope you keep on healing and begin to enjoy life again.
ReplyDelete